suck the monkey

as a young girl i was always looking up words i thought may be naughty to see what it was that made grownups spell them when i was in the room. lots werent there; fuck, shit wanker,(my brother) fuck, (mum) buggerations, (dad) and frigging,(the sex pistols).

i still do it, but with old dictionaries. it still feels slightly dirty, ensuring a place in my list of fun things to do when not having sex.

chambers english dictionary, 1908, was a cornucopia of new words. the were 41 brand new entries that year including 5 for different hypnotic and sleep inducing drugs. a similar number described actions around radio activity (sic) and x-rays. aeroplane - n, a form of flying machine. khitmutgar is a wonderful hindi word for a table servant or underbutler.

i looked for kinky and found kink - n, a twist in a string rope. hmmm, the game was on; frottage, figging, feltching, fisting, dogging. no dogging but dogger - n: a two-masted fishing vessel, odd you never see those parked up in epping forest? fornication was to have unlawful sexual intercourse. did you know that out of your mum, dad, brother, sister, aunts, uncles and cousins it used to only be unlawful to sleep with granny.

masturbation, nymphomania, onanism used the same words and phrases; lewd, debauched, defiled, self pollution. funnily enough nympho is from the greek word nymphe, meaning bride. no wank but wankle - adj. unstable, not to be relied upon and twat -n, pudendum muliebre. pudendum is a word i use but muliebre? quite simply, twat, in 1908 was a shamefaced, soft effeminate males genitalia, nothing changed there then.

the best? suck the monkey - adj, to draw up into the mouth. a new phrase for fellating pudenda, marvelous language, english